How Long is Forever?
by True Heaven
Summary: How do you prove that we exist? Maybe we don't exist. If I go away...will I be gone forever? How long is Forever? Oneshot.


_How do you prove that we exsist? Maybe we don't exsist. If I go away...will I be gone forever?_

_How long is forever? Oneshot._

_Italics _ Thoughts/Flashbacks

".." Speech

Change in scene

**First story. I just started playing and I'm only on disk two. DON'T HURT ME **

**_How Long is Forever?_**

_I froze as I watched beings like me coming out of the strange machine. They look just like me! ...Was I made like this? _

_I remember that day like it was yesterday. We were in Dali for a short time. We've made it such a long way since that incident. I know I won't ever forget that day. Zidane tells me not to worry, but I can't help it. I feel so empty. Dagger tries her best to comfort me but...do they really understand? I mean, what it's like to be me? To know what it feels like to wonder if you actually do exsist? Those other black mages were like me, but they killed. All they did do was kill. Was I ever like that? Will I be like that?_

"Vivi!" I snapped out of my train of thoughts and looked at the person who had called out my name. Zidane. His eyes held mixed emotions. We were staying in Black Mage Villiage. I felt so...at home here, finding others like me. I didn't realize Zidane, and now Dagger as well, were looking at me with worry written all over their faces. I looked back at them with my glowing, yellow eyes. "I'm okay," I replied. Zidane nodded at me and yawned. "Well it's getting late," he said, "we should get to sleep." Dagger was about to object until she was, rather forcibly, shoved into the room we were staying in. I knew she was still worried about me. I smiled as I saw Zidane shoot a goofy grin at me as he pushed a struggling Dagger.

I fixed my straw hat that was resting on my head. I made my way through the front door of the inn and walked to the cemetary. Darkness blanketed the night sky as tiny, gleaming, silver stars scattered across the sky. Plopping myself down, I looked up at the graves of the black mages who had 'stopped.' My mind wandered to the conversation I had with another black mage about 'stopping'. _So stopping is like...dying?_ I shook my head. _This is so confusing! Do I really exsist? Maybe I don't exsist..._ I heard somewhere that when someone dies then they were gone forever. _If stopping is like dying then..does that mean I'll be gone forever too!?_ _But I don't want to be gone forever! That means I won't ever see my friends again!_ My body began to shake at that thought. I fixed my eyes straight ahead of me. My eyes landing on the grave of a black mage. _How did you feel?_ I silently asked him. I knew he couldn't hear me. I also knew that my question would remain unanswered. But I couldn't help but wonder what he did feel when he left everything he cared about behind. I sighed and rested my head on my left hand. My right hand was drawing circles in the dirt and about a million thoughts were rushing around in my head. _I don't wanna go away.. I don't wanna leave everyone forever._ Sadness filled my whole body at the thought of not ever seeing my friends again. I really didn't want to go away! Especially not forever! But, how long is forever? Is it a long time?

When we were in Lindblum, after it was attacked, I saw someone die. I remembered how Lindblum looked too. It seemed as if the city itself had died as well. Little kids were crying, and lifeless bodies littered the ground. There, in front of my eyes, lay the remains of the once bustling city of Lindblum. I don't really know what I felt. I guess I was shocked. I could remember this lady crying over her dying friend. She looked so sad. _Would my friends be sad and cry if I went away? I don't want them to be sad. _The lady was holding her friend's hand and suddenly it went limp. At that point she started crying even more. Another person came up to the two of them and said that her friend was gone forever and that at least he was in a better place.

_A better place? _What did he mean about that?_ So, when I stop will I go to that place? Is it nice? Will I like it there? Who else goes to this 'better place'?_ _Did the black mages who stopped go to this place?_ I thought about is some more. _Maybe this place was somewhere up there! _I always thought that the sky was really pretty at night with all the stars and stuff. Wow, so I'm guessing you spend forever up there right? _Well, it must not be that bad. I'd love to look at all the stars up there! _

_But, when do I 'stop'?_ I hugged my knees to my chest, the cold air biting into me. _Wait...does everyone have to go sooner or later too? That lady's friend had to go and he ended up going to a 'better place'. Maybe, just maybe, if I have to go up there sooner than my friends then I can wait for them up there! We can talk and spend time with eachother!_ I turned my gaze from the circle I was drawing back to the grave in front of me. _Are you in that place too? _I asked him again. I guess that's another question that'll be left unanswered. _I wonder if Grampa's up there too?_

I yawned and stood up, brushing the dirt of my clothes and readjusting my hat. I looked up at the sky once more, the beauty of the stars captivating my fascination. The stars and sky seemed to go on forever. I shivered as a cool breeze blew past me, ruffling my clothes. _I hope you're happy up there Grampa. _My eyes turned towards the graves of the black mages who had 'stopped'. _And I hope you guys are too.._ I smiled. You know, maybe my questions will be answered once I get up there.

Turning on my heel, I made my way back towards the inn. I was out thinking for longer that I thought. Creeping into the room I saw Dagger sleeping peacefully and Zidane snoring lightly. I kicked my shoes off and jumped into my bed, snuggling under the warm covers. _When I leave, at least I won't leave you guys behind forever. But for now, with the time that I've got, I'll live to the fullest. When I go I know I'll see you guys again. _My eyes started drooping as sleep took over me. _You know...forever doesn't seem so bad anymore._

**A/N: It's a bit short I know. I might end up reposting this. **


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